What a Child Protective Policy is Not
Several years ago, my husband and I decided to place our daughter in a Christian hybrid-model school that had been around for over twenty years. The setup seemed ideal: two days a week in a classroom with peers and teachers, weekly assignments, and the rest of the week at home or on field trips, music, art, or athletics. I felt good about the structure, but I also knew enough to ask about child protection.
When I asked if they had a Child Protective Policy, the answer was no. They relied on the good character and common sense of homeschool parents. I pressed further and offered to help create one, and they let me join a group of moms to get something started. At the time, I didn’t realize what a red flag this was—that after twenty years, a school serving children had never prioritized their safety.
Looking back, I see now that this was just the first of many warning signs. I didn’t know enough to build a rock-solid policy, but I asked around, read a lot, and did my best to improve what little was there.
What really opened my eyes, though, were the weekly stories my daughter brought home. My then seventh grader ended up being the one to report a classmate’s suicide threat—something others had ignored. She stood up for a kid who was struggling with his identity while staff tried to talk him out of it in the public hallway and said, “Maybe this is something he needs to talk to his parents about…alone.” In front of a teacher and classmates, she called out the collective bullying of a girl whose family held different beliefs. Each time, leadership was present, sometimes watching, sometimes ignoring, sometimes even perpetuating the harm.
It was my own child who was speaking up for others, because the adults in charge weren’t doing it, didn’t know how or believed their tactics were holy. That’s when I realized: no matter how much I tried to help with policy, the environment wasn’t safe. The school’s rigid, Christian fundamentalist worldview and lack of trauma-informed care made it clear that it wasn’t a place where my child could truly thrive.
But here’s the thing: it wasn’t just that school. The way they operated was a reflection of a much bigger problem in American religious spaces. Too many places assume good intentions are enough, when what’s really needed are clear, enforced policies that put children first—no exceptions. This includes physical, emotional and psychological safety.
Let’s talk about what real child protective policies should look like in churches and religious organizations, and why we can’t afford to settle for less.
What a Child Protective Policy Is Not
Let’s be honest: a child protection policy is not about making adults comfortable or keeping things convenient. It’s about making sure every child is safe—no excuses, no shortcuts, and no exceptions.
Not a police officer at check-in
While having security present might help in specific situations, it’s not a substitute for a comprehensive policy. Child protection is about prevention, not just crisis response.
Not a suggestion box
It’s not optional. Every rule, background check, and training is mandatory. No one gets a free pass.Not a PR stunt
It’s not about protecting the church or oganization’’s image. It’s about protecting children—even when it means confronting uncomfortable truths.Not a “we’ll get to it later” project
Child safety can’t wait. It’s urgent and must be a top priority, not something to address after the next event or fundraiser.Not a “trust us” statement
Trust is built through action. No one—no matter their position—is above the rules. Protecting adults should never come at the expense of a child.Not a “just for staff” secret
It’s everyone’s responsibility—staff, volunteers, parents, and the whole congregation. Silence and secrecy only help abusers, not children.Not a “one-and-done” workshop
It’s an ongoing commitment. Policies must be reviewed, training repeated, and vigilance maintained.Not just about gluten- and dye-free snacks
While being mindful of dietary needs is important, it’s not what a child protection policy is designed for.Not just “all our volunteers are background checked”
Background checks are essential, but they’re only one part of a much bigger picture. Child protection requires multiple, overlapping safeguards.Not just for little kids
Child protective policies must cover everyone under eighteen. Special consideration should go to those with disabilities, additional needs, or anyone at higher risk of harm or manipulation—including vulnerable adults, whenever possible.
Mandatory Reporter Info
If you’re working with kids, you’re probably a mandatory reporter. That means if you see or hear something concerning—no matter who it involves—you’re required by law to report it. There’s no wiggle room here: covering up abuse is never okay. And even if your state doesn’t specifically list religious leaders or volunteers as mandatory reporters, it’s still your ethical responsibility to step up and protect the child. “Handling things internally” or sweeping issues under the rug only puts kids at risk.
What If a Child Says Something Concerning?
If a child tells you something that worries you:
Listen carefully.
Never promise to keep it a secret. You don’t want to break trust with the child.
Report it immediately—initially to your church’s (or religious community’s) child protection team and then, depending on the type of disclosure, to child protective services.
Document everything.
Put the child’s needs first, not the feelings or reputations of adults.
It’s important to gently explain to the child that you may have to share what they’ve told you with others to help keep them safe.
Youth are also at risk.
Youth workers have a profound influence on young lives, but without maturity, trauma-informed perspectives, and clear boundaries, youth services and events can unintentionally cause harm. This harm can come in many forms: re-traumatizing those who have experienced abuse or neglect, introducing inappropriate topics before youth are ready, handling gender or identity conversations insensitively, or mishandling situations in ways that leave young people feeling unsafe or misunderstood. When adults lack awareness or fail to set appropriate boundaries, even well-meaning activities or conversations can reinforce feelings of isolation, confusion, or distress. It is essential that youth workers approach their roles with sensitivity, respect, and trauma-informed care—ensuring every young person feels valued, supported, and protected from further harm. Child Protective Policies also apply to youth groups – including disclosures, types of topics that should be discussed with a mental health professional vs. youth leader and discussions about sexual topics.
Trauma-informed care is essential.
Trauma-informed care must be part of a child protective policy. This means seeing the whole child—not just their behavior, but understanding their background, experiences, and needs. It includes respecting children whose beliefs, family lifestyles, or choices may be different from those of the adults in charge. True child protection means valuing every child, no matter what they believe or where they come from.
But trauma-informed care goes even deeper. It recognizes that many children have experienced adversity—such as abuse, neglect, family instability, or community violence—and that these experiences can shape how they think, feel, and act. Trauma-informed care is about creating an environment where children feel safe, understood, and supported, not judged or shamed. It means training staff and volunteers to recognize the signs of trauma, respond with empathy, and avoid practices that could re-traumatize a child.
Being trauma-informed also means understanding that children and families come from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. It’s about being sensitive to differences in race, ethnicity, gender identity, and family structure, and ensuring that policies and practices are inclusive and respectful. Trauma-informed care is a whole-system approach—changing organizational culture so that every interaction, every policy, and every procedure is designed to support healing and resilience, not just compliance.
Ultimately, trauma-informed care is about building trust, promoting safety, and empowering children and families to heal and thrive—even when their experiences, beliefs, or backgrounds challenge our own assumptions or comfort.
Bottom Line:
A real child protection policy puts the child—the whole child—at the center, every time. There are no shortcuts, no looking the other way, and absolutely no room for abusers to slip through the cracks due to lack of awareness or education. The safety, dignity, and well-being of every child must always come before the comfort or convenience of adults.
If you’re reading this and wondering whether your church, school, or religious community is truly protecting its children, don’t settle for vague assurances or surface-level gestures. Ask the hard questions. Demand clear, enforced policies. Insist on trauma-informed care that sees each child in their full context—not just as a name on a roster, but as a whole person with unique needs, backgrounds, and experiences.
Children deserve nothing less. And neither should we.
If you want to make sure your faith community has real safeguards in place, here are a couple of reputable resources:
For Consulting: David Ruybalid
For More Information: GRACE
This article is not intended to treat or diagnose any condition.
Rebekah is not a licensed therapist or clinician. Any advice or opinions given on this site are strictly her own observation and insights based on personal experiences and study. It should in no way take the place of professional assistance.