What is Religious Scrupulosity OCD?
Let’s use our imagination for a moment. For some, you might not have to imagine, because, like me, you’ve witnessed this behavior firsthand.
Picture a middle-aged woman, her brown hair threaded with silver, tucked deep into a well-worn, overstuffed recliner that molds around her frame. She sits beneath a soft throw blanket. Gentle light spills from a side table lamp, casting golden pools onto her annotated and dog-eared Bible.
The Scoop: Unhealed People Hurt People
As my family and I were winding down one night—nearly done with another episode of a favorite show—I heard my phone chime. I checked it when the credits rolled, and my stomach dropped. Another friend. Another message. Someone else in the deconstruction and religious trauma space, crossing a line. My heart sank. Again.
From Promise Ring to Stethoscope: Confronting Purity Culture as Patient or Healthcare Provider
As a survivor of purity culture and now as a Religious Trauma Advocate, I've come to recognize the profound impact this movement has had on individuals and communities. Purity culture, which gained prominence in the 1990s within evangelical Christian circles, emphasized sexual abstinence before marriage, traditional gender roles, and modesty. While often well-intentioned, this movement has left many grappling with long-lasting effects on their mental and sexual health.
You Don’t Get to Say It Wasn’t Abuse
For so long, I sat quietly in places that were supposed to be safe—church pews, fellowship halls, Sunday school classrooms, homeschool conferences, my own home—listening to the voices of authority tell me what was right, what was real and what wasn’t. They told me what counted as sin, what counted as discipline, and what counted as good and holy. I embodied what I was taught, absorbing every doctrine, belief and theory. And when I grew up and said, “I was hurt,” the answer was often, “No, that wasn’t abuse.”
Red Flags of a Toxic or Cult-Like Religious Community
I’ve heard it said that religion can help or harm. And from my experience, this colloquial analysis is accurate.
Religion can be a beautiful force—offering comfort, guidance, meaning and a sense of belonging. But when faith communities drift into extremes, what once brought life can start to suffocate and control. Toxic religious environments don’t always look obvious from the outside, and it’s easy to miss the red flags when you’re in the middle of it. So how do you know when a religious community is becoming unhealthy, or even cult-like?
What a Child Protective Policy is Not
When I asked if they had a Child Protective Policy, the answer was no. They relied on the good character and common sense of homeschool parents. I pressed further and offered to help create one, and they let me join a group of moms to get something started. At the time, I didn’t realize what a red flag this was—that after twenty years, a school serving children had never prioritized their safety.
Dear Survivors: Harm is Harm
Harm comes in many forms, but its impact is always real. As an abuse and trauma survivor turned advocate, I've witnessed the spectrum of harm that can occur within religious spaces. This spectrum includes spiritual, physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse. While the type, severity, frequency, or intensity of harm may vary, one fact remains constant: harm is harm.
Raising Teens After Purity Culture: 8 Tips for Parents
If you spent your teen years steeped in purity culture, and now find yourself parenting a teenager while charting a different course, you're not alone. The fear, uncertainty, and those moments when you feel completely frozen – they're all normal reactions. I've heard from so many parents just like you, grappling with these exact challenges. In fact, as a coach, it's one of the most frequent concerns I hear.
Distilling Therapy: 7 Questions My Therapist Missed (Part 2)
Thanks for ready Part 1 of, “Distilling Therapy: 7 Questions My Therapist Missed.” (However, if you did not read Part 1, you might want to do that now.)
Please join me in diving deeper into questions that can help revolutionize healing for those recovering from religious trauma, high-demand groups or authoritarian structures.
Distilling Therapy: 7 Questions My Therapist Missed (Part 1)
Finding a trauma professional isn't as easy as it seems. (Although in recent years, it's getting easier!) Here are a few of my own experiences and lessons learned - from a survivor perspective, not a professional one.
The Slippery Slope(s)
When I first began questioning the version of faith I had been taught, I was paralyzed by the fear of the infamous "slippery slope" I'd heard about countless times. In my religious community, anything that deviated from our collective beliefs was labeled as dangerous, sinful, or bad.
The Red Virgin: A tale of control and freedom.
After a two-day road trip and then installing a kitchen backsplash with my family, this 40-something gal’s neck decided it needed a break. So, I found myself laid in up bed resting properly and flat on my back. I began scouring all the usual streaming platforms and landed on Amazon’s, “The Red Virgin.” It was a movie about the very real Hildegart Rodriquez Carballeira a young prodigy academic from Spain who lived nearly a century ago.
I Was a Door-to-Door Gospel Salesman
When I was about twenty, a friend dubbed me "Baptist Girl." This nickname wasn't just about the church I attended; it encapsulated my entire lifestyle.
I was the epitome of a "good Christian girl," meticulously following every rule and expectation. I looked the part, spoke the language, and walked the walk with unwavering dedication.