When stories like this hit the media, it’s personal. It’s not just some random pastor, at some random church, in some random town. It’s people I know, or my friend know. It’s churches I’ve been to, or know people who attended that church. It’s towns I’ve lived in, or people I know live in.

Stories of pastors abusing people, power, position and resources aren’t just stories that are flying in the great abyss of the media universe. The lives impacted are real, personal and crossover with lots of us.

The more I interact with people who have been hurt the more I see two things: One, there are people who are saying all the right “recovery things,” they may take courses, follow trauma influencers, read some books but their actions don’t add up. They’re not putting in the hard work to heal. And two, I see the people who truly want to heal and change the patterns around them. They never stop trying, they make mistakes but learn and their life sphere begins to be filled with peace along with healthier patterns and people

This brings me to the post I am writing today. I want to take a deeper dive into the world of trauma responses – those ways our minds and bodies react to past hurts, shaping our thoughts and actions long after the dust settles. Sometimes we think we’ve dealt with something, but realize patterns are still in place that may be signals something isn’t healed, healthy or happy.

Your soul is screaming inside you. Your gut knows something isn’t right, but you can’t put things into words. Your church, religious community or family, a spiritual leader or faith practice leave you asking questions but unsure if what you have experienced is healthy or not.