I have a Christian fundamentalist background and starting controversial conversations does not come naturally. Legalism, which is tightly woven into the tapestry of fundamentalism, shouts, “Us four and no more!” In other words, if you do not agree with us, you are wrong and not allowed in our circle. Grace shouts, “Even if you don’t agree with me, I will listen to your point of view and try to understand. I love you and you are welcome at my table.”

A mother myself, I feel a heaviness around what is taking place in our society. The division between races, cultures, families, friends, churches, businesses, nations – the division is just that, it’s divisive. The future is being formed right now. This is my child’s world – the world where my grand babies will be raised. This is our place in history – what happens now matters.

My heart has been weighed down with the pain and anger, injustice and chaos seen all over the media - I don’t want this for my offspring. No mother does. No mother wants their child’s life to be at risk just because they’re out for a run. No mother wants their child’s life to be at risk because they’re doing their job by upholding the law.

The World War II era English play, The Winslow Boy, was made into a movie in the late 90’s. The boy had been accused of a moral wrong, his family wanted to believe his side of the story because they knew his character, but they also knew that people mess up. The father makes a statement that has always echoed in my heart, “Let right be done.” But what is right?

Today, right now, in these next few weeks and months – how will “right” be decided? It seems that people in our world are questioning so much. We are navigating issues that are heart matters, ethics and morality, politics and religious and yes, even something unchangeable that makes you, you – your DNA.

Where do children initially develop a bias? Where do children learn to love or hate? Where do children learn the difference between right and wrong? Where do children learn to show kindness and compassion? Where do children learn how to make decisions? Where do children gain their core morality?

From those influencing them at church, school or soccer practice, from those raising them at home…from you…their mother.

In recent days, this graphic from Oh Happy Dani circulated social media. It rang so true for me. While my voice and personal range of influence may be small, small things can make a difference.

As his last words called, “Momma….” George Floyd reminded all of us that being a mom matters. To me, in this time of division, this is a call for mothers’s to unite.

Yes, each person is responsible for their own choices. Yes, you can do your best and your child still “turns out” very differently from how you raised them. Children can break your heart. This does not necessarily mean you’re a bad mom, or you messed up. It means your child has a free will and made their own choices.

BEING A MOM MATTERS.

Don’t be a lukewarm mom. Be a mom with vision, passion and beliefs. Intentionally raise your children. Teach them the moral reasons why you do or do not things. “More is caught than taught,” - so live a life worth imitating. Live the life you want your children to live. Be honest with them about your own beliefs. Have those important, hard conversations. It may take courage, but GO THERE.

Children don’t need perfect parents, they need honest, real ones who are attuned to their needs.

As my heart has changed, my parenting has changed. I have had to battle through what I thought was truth, what’d I’d been taught was truth and what is actually truth - about God, myself, my country and the world. It’s humbling to tell your child, “Mommy used to believe or think ___. But I’ve learned that was wrong.”

I know what it’s like to process through what you believe about certain issues. Perhaps this is because of how you were raised. It’s a painstaking process that can often be confusing or triggering when you’re raising your own kids.

Here are some things you can teach your children, regardless of what you believe about (or if you are still processing) all the important issues facing our nation right now:

Show kindness.
Show compassion.
Life is precious and fleeting.
Give grace to yourself and others.
Take the High Road.
Do right, no matter what.
Be grateful for what you have.
Be generous.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Mothers of the world, it’s time to unite!

I think we can agree on these things:

We want our children to be safe.
We want our children to be happy.
We want our children to be loved.
We want our children to grow up to be good people.
We want our children to have a bright future.
We want our children to make good decisions.
We want our children to make a difference in the world.
We want our children to be given opportunities for education and careers.
We want our children to _________________ . (You fill in the blank.)