July 20, 2024

When Love Becomes a Weapon: The Hidden Hurt in Christian Homes

July 20, 2024/ RD

Hey there, friend. Can we talk about something that's been weighing on my heart lately? It's about how love sometimes gets twisted in Christian homes, turning into a tool for control instead of the beautiful, unconditional thing it's meant to be.

You know that feeling when you're a kid, and your mom promises you can go to your best friend's house on Saturday? You're so excited, counting down the days. But then Saturday morning rolls around, and you forget to clean your room on Friday. Suddenly, that play date you've been looking forward to all week? It's gone. Poof. Just like that. "If you can't be responsible at home," they said, "you don't get to go out and have fun."

July 22, 2023

Calming Your Nervous System as a Parent: While Processing Childhood Trauma

July 22, 2023/ RD

Parenting is such a wild ride—full of ups, downs, and everything in between. You’ve finally nailed the toddler and elementary years when, wham! You wake up one morning and now have a teenager in your home with those years full of their own challenges, developmental stages and complexities.

When you’re also carrying the weight of your own childhood trauma, parenting can often feel like an even bigger challenge. But here’s the thing: your trauma is not your child’s trauma. In fact, showing our kids how we learn, grow, and tackle tough stuff can be one of the best lessons we can give them.

April 29, 2021

I was a Christian Fundamentalist Mom

April 29, 2021/ RD

When my parenting journey began, I was a Christian fundamentalist parent. I didn’t know any better, it was all I had ever known.

I was young and had waited my whole (brief) life to be a mom. Motherhood had been put on a pedestal and was the highest calling a woman could fulfill. It was what all Godly women do, they are fruitful and multiply being blessed with a quiver full of children who will arise and call them blessed. But becoming a mother is also what toppled me into questioning my faith and the religious formula and methods in which I, myself, had been raised.

With the waves of individuals deconstructing their faith, we tend to focus on the person experiencing the belief deconstruction but forget that behind that person are the parents and systems who raised them.

Here’s a little secret: Parents can deconstruct their beliefs too. I know, because I did.

January 23, 2021

Does "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" Apply to Abuse?

January 23, 2021/ RD

As a coach who interacts with individuals recovering from strict, fundamentalist Christian or religious backgrounds, this is a concern I often hear. “But what about honoring my parents? Is that still something I owe them after what they did?”

This belief is often based on the Biblical Ten Commandments, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” The story of how these commandments came to be is found in the Old Testament. They were given to Moses and written in stone by the hand of God himself. This same idea is also found in the New Testament in Ephesians 6:1-4.

November 01, 2020

Rethink Obedience: Breaking the first time obedience and happy heart rules.

November 01, 2020/ RD

Growing up as fundamental Christian kid, obedience was probably the most taught lesson - the key to making it into adulthood, honoring God and a food-proof way to never mess up.

Just obey your parents…all of the Bible…God…all authorities including your Sunday School teachers and pastors…your husband (but only after the authority has transferred from your father on your wedding day)…your grandparents (unless their rules aren’t like home)…your school or class teachers (unless they are teaching you evolution or playing rock music or showing you a movie you can’t watch at home, then, you can up for your faith by “standing alone”)…your babysitter (unless she lets you do something you’re not supposed to do)…and…yup, if you’re confused, try being an evangelical, fundamentalist little girl.

August 23, 2020

Parenting: It can be different. You know better.

August 23, 2020/ RD

As someone who is living a life differently than how they were raised, someone who has fought hard to find truth and battled through the agony of deconstruction – little things can become big things when you least expect it.

As you may know, I am a homeschool mom. This often feels like a love/hate situation because you see, I was homeschooled. Triggers, known pitfalls, lack of actual schooling, strained family relationships – I want to avoid those things. I have seen far too much of that

There, however, is much good that comes from home educating your children too – unlimited family adventures, an individualized education, learning new things together, freedom to explore personal learning styles and interests, studying about then traveling the world - I am embracing those amazing things.

August 20, 2020

Being A Mom Matters

August 20, 2020/ RD

As a mother myself, I feel a heaviness around what is taking place in our society. The division between races, cultures, families, friends, churches, businesses, law enforcement, nations – the division is just that, it’s divisive. The future is being formed right now. This is my child’s world – the world where my grandbabies will be raised. This is our place in history – what happens now matters.

As someone who was raised in a Christian legalistic, fundamentalist environment, starting controversial conversations doesn’t come naturally.

November 01, 2018

Guest Post by DNA Counselor Brianne Kirkpatrick

November 01, 2018/ RD

Brianne Kirkpatrick is the founder of DNA Watershed. She is a DNA Counselor, wife and Super-Mom to three children. And to top it off, Brianne has co-authored a book on DNA topics for adoptees which will be released soon! It’s such an honor that she agreed to be a guest on my blog!

Brianne and I met briefly at NBC Studios while on set for the Megyn Kelly Show a couple of months ago. She is leading the charge in the world of DNA Counseling. With the tsunami of people taking DNA tests via Ancestry.com, 23 and Me and others, there often come questions and surprises. Brianne is there to help you navigate the waters of understanding who you are, genetically.

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