Christian Apologetics is Not the Solution to Faith Deconstruction

Apologetics: Systematic argumentative discourse.  A branch of theology devoted to the defense of the divine origin and authority of Christianity.

Apologist: One who speaks or writes in defense of someone or something.

Growing up in Christian evangelical fundamentalism, apologetics was huge, especially in the homeschool circles, and it remains so even to this day.  Drenched in this form of thinking, I have attended lengthy seminars, read books, listened to countless sermons and presentations, practiced my own arguments and yes, even had to take a worldview test with my fiancé before we were given a blessing to wed.

Merriam-Webster supplied the definitions for the words above and reading them with fresh eyes was insightful. The three words which stood out to me were argumentative, authority and defense. Apologetics can be synonymous with the term, “Defending your faith.”


The Way Many Christians Think It Is

There is a movement among many Christians today.  It is being done with good intentions I believe, but it is missing the whole picture and sadly will cause harm.  This movement is attempting to solve the situation of scores of individuals who are questioning or leaving their faith by focusing on increased theology and apologetics. 

Let me get right to the point - Apologetics is not the answer to the faith deconstruction or progressive Christianity “problem.”  (Or any other problem for that matter.)

Use this example as a blunt, yet quite valid illustration:

If I learn more about my rapist - his history with childhood trauma, the abuses he suffered, his successful life since the attack, oh, and I meet his mother and learn that he really is a good boy – this will help me recover from being violated, disrespected, dehumanized and abused.  If I know more about the person who hurt me, this will solve my predicament.

Do you now see how this becomes problematic for victims of spiritual abuse and religious trauma, who may also have suffered physical, psychological and sexual abuse at the hands of family members, organizations or church leadership?  They are being told that the very thing that hurt them is what will help fix them.

The problem does not lie with the person leaving the church or questioning the foundation of their faith.  Oh no.  The problem is the Christian church and the people within those walls.  The church is getting stuck looking at what people are doing instead of why people are doing it.

For centuries, Christianity has covered up or been party to wrong doings.  This is well-documented across denominations and covers a vast range of abuses:

  • Rape/Incest

  • Domestic Violence

  • Narcissistic Leadership

  • Cult Leadership and Organizations

  • Child Sex and Physical Abuse

  • Embezzlement

  • Murder

  • Infidelity

  • Kidnapping

  • …and more!

While the heart of fundamentalism has its roots in the Niagara Convention, more than one hundred years ago, and includes names of foundational men we all were taught to respect such as missionary James Hudson Taylor and reference Bible author C.I. Scofield, what I refer to in this piece is modern fundamentalism.  Modern fundamentalism has, like most things do, changed significantly since the inception of the term fundamentalist.  Christian evangelical fundamentalism, as we know it today, has only been around for about three generations:

  • Those who started it.The Billy Graham and Jack Hyles era.

  • Those who joined it.Our pastors and our parents.

  • Those who were raised inside of it.You and me. 

The generation raised inside of modern Christian evangelical fundamentalism are the ones standing up and saying enough is enough.  This generation is saying no more abuse.  No more hypocrisy.  No more shame and manipulation.  No more man-made gospel and rule following.  To learn a more about the beginnings of fundamentalism and the effects of growing up in that world, read my post here.


It’s Not What You Have Been Told

Calling out the Church doesn’t get you lots of five-star ratings from Christians.  But if you look outside of simple binary thought patterns and walk away from your social media or church echo chambers for just a little while, you will see a spiritual awakening spreading that cannot be ignored or told what to do.  And while those within the traditional church believe the cause of this falling away is social and racial justice, lifestyle choices and the individual’s own sinful heart they have missed the mark. 

The cause of people walking away from Christianity or church tradition is simple - abuse

  • Physical Abuse

  • Psychological Abuse

  • Emotional Abuse

  • Spiritual Abuse

  • Sexual Abuse

  • Abuse of Power

  • Abuse of Scripture

Something I have found to ring true in my own life, after years spent absorbing worldview and apologetic thought – Why does my faith need defending? What did it do wrong? Isn’t my faith supposed to defend me?  And for countless individuals across the globe, the faith they grew up knowing how to defend, cross reference and win in any debate, it is a faith that left them bloodied and beaten.  It never defended their innocence, heart and body or the purity it so righteously claimed to value. 


Don’t Do This

There are tactics being used to keep or “bring back into the fold” those who have walked away or are doubting which can be very dangerous, add to the Us vs. Them mentality and create a further divide:

  • Fearmongering

  • Coercion

  • Authoritarian Control

  • Verbal and Emotional Abuse

  • Shaming

  • Rejection or Shunning

  • Manipulation

  • Passive Aggression

  • Undue Influence

  • Mocking or Minimizing

These forms of unhealthy behavior can be seen by giving a book casually to someone with an indirect, insincere comment, “I thought you might like this book,” entering into a heated discussion or debate and not giving up until you prove your point, disowning/not speaking with a loved one because they no longer believe the way you do, sharing your personal testimony of, “I questioned some things about the Bible and God once, but I still believe so you can too,” or making statements such as, “You know better.  You don’t want to go to Hell do you?  You are breaking God’s heart.


Why Not Apologetics?

A quick Google search will show you that most individuals claiming to be an apologist or have a love of apologetics today are evangelical and fundamental Christian.  Teachings on the Holy Spirit and free will are basically non-existent within most of those environments.  When you use apologetics to woo a soul back into Christianity you are forgetting those two essential elements:

  • The Holy Spirit

  • Free Will

The Spirit descended upon Jesus in the form of a dove when He was baptized, the day of Pentecost is creatively explained away and the Holy Spirit is the third part of the Trinity – that about sums up the education a fundamental, evangelical Christian kid would receive about the Holy Spirit.  Could this be a reason why apologetics also forget this point?

Then there’s free will.  Ah yes, that pesky free will.  We were told we have one but then taught we could never use it because our heart is deceitful and desperately wicked.  We were taught that we have a free will and that humans can exercise their free will to either follow Jesus when He calls or turn away from Him.  We were shown that free will is essentially our sin nature, the part of all humans that is evil and wants to do what is wrong. 

Apologetics leaves no room for the Holy Spirit to reveal truth.  Only the truth stated by the apologist will suffice.  Apologetics leaves no room for a person to exercise their free will (freedom of choice) to disagree or not believe what the apologist has stated.

A study of apologetics is only one way, it is not the way.  Apologetics may well support those who are within the faith or religion, but it is not for those doubting or injured by the very beliefs being touted with such superiority and surety.

Your views about God are your views, your denomination’s views, your colleague’s views.  The God I have met after leaving the fundamentalist, evangelical world is so much bigger than any debate or apologetics conference can ever hope to encompass. 

Holding leadership and churches accountable isn’t a problem, it’s right.  People distilling their faith and throwing away the rotten pieces, that is a spiritual awakening.  Individuals saying, “This kind of Christianity is wrong and I’m out,” is not a sign that there’s something wrong with the person, there’s something wrong with the system.

Organizations such as The Gospel Coalition are scrambling to keep people inside the faith, “Don’t leave!  Here’s more proof we (traditional Christian views) are right.” This is evidenced by their new book, Before You Leave: Deconstructing Doubt in the Church and their close connection to Lisa Childers (former contemporary Christian singer turned apologist) and her story of apologetics bringing her out of deconstruction.  In a Twitter post, TGC editor Ivan Mesa stated, “I’m deconstructing.  Yet another social-media post announces departure from the Christian faith.  The cause could be sex, race, politics, justice, science, hell or all of the above. But deconstruction need not end in unbelief. We’re excited to release this book at #TGC21!

In a podcast interview with TGC, Alisa Childers said, “…so it really seems to be a movement that is largely informed as a reaction against evangelicalism. And in my book, I talk about there were a lot of progressive Christians that I know, people in that small group I was in at that church who had grown up in severely legalistic environments, others who had encountered spiritual abuse, others who had witnessed hypocrisy in their churches. And so, I think that there can be a big element of progressive Christians who are walking away from something. I think it was G. K. Chesterton who said, “When you find somebody running toward a madhouse, there’s a good chance they’ve just made a splendid escape from another madhouse.” And I think that’s really applicable to progressive Christianity, because it seems to be a very reactionary movement against something they found in evangelicalism that just either didn’t work out for them or they disagreed with, or they thought was wrong.”


I feel that I must add a qualifying statement here: The purpose of this article is not to call into question beliefs about absolute truth, sin, hell, inerrancy of the Bible, deity of Jesus or any other theological tenant of traditional Christian faith, rather it is designed to challenge the pervading thought about the cause and remedy for faith deconstruction.

Also, my intent has been to make it perfectly clear that people are not walking away from the church or Christianity (yes, they are two different things) because of, “…something they found in evangelicalism that just either didn’t work out for them or they disagreed with, or they thought was wrong.” People are leaving the faith and religious constructs because of abuse, evil which masqueraded as good news and the sheer hypocrisy of those claiming Christ while covering their own sinful, abuse-filled lifestyles - such as the widely acclaimed Christian apologist, Ravi Zacharias.


What Should You Do?

If you are a Christian or church, what can you do to support someone who is experiencing a faith deconstruction or Spiritual Identity Disruption™?

  • Stop talking and listen.If someone is willing to share, intentionally listen to the stories, the pain, the struggle.  Ask clarifying questions without judgement.  Hear their heart.

  • Don’t try to fix them.It’s not your job to fix people.  And honestly, it’s not your job to go out and find that lost lamb and bring them back inside the fold.  It’s not Gospel-centered, it’s narcissistic.  You are not the Holy Spirit.  You are not God.  Life a live that makes people want to be a Christian instead of talking them into it.

  • Remove the beam in your eye. Before you dare challenge someone on their faith deconstruction or changed religious beliefs, you better make darn sure a beam isn’t blocking your own line of vision.  This will require time and stepping out of your comfy theological box seat, even if just for a season, to learn, understand and grow.

  • Study mental health.  – Mental health and science are compatible with Christian faith.  Depression is not a lack of faith.  Trauma is not something you just give to God and then get over it.  Our brains and emotions were designed magnificently, spiritual bypassing is unhealthy, mocks God’s workmanship and does not help anyone.

  • Show love that does not have strings attached. If you only break bread with those who believe like you, if you only show civility to someone who votes like you, if you only show kindness to poor reprobates who don’t know any better but didn’t invite your own cousin to Christmas dinner because they no longer claim to be Christian, if you won’t talk to your own child because they left the church, if you preach how to heal without listening to the heart of those wounded – then you do not know the real Jesus. 

  • Don’t cover up or ignore abuse. Know what abuse looks like and take a, “Not on my watch,” approach. Don’t be an abuser yourself.  (Seriously, I have to say that.) Be willing to make hard decisions to protect the victims.

  • Say ‘No’ to hypocrisy. – If you preach it, live it.

  • Have a willingness to learn and change your mind. – “I think I’m right, but I may be wrong,” is a wonderful attitude.


Condensed Christianity

What I have presented is not watered-down Christianity – it’s boiled down.  It is condensed Christianity. 

All the rules, differing worldview descriptions, dates of Biblical wars, Hebrew and Greek names of God, cross referenced Bible passages, comparative Christ’s claims to those of other religious leaders and whatever theological fluff you care to add to this list - that is the water.

Having a working knowledge of world history, religions, science and even your own denomination, this is not apologetics, this is a well-rounded education. Knowing what you believe and why you believe it – that can be important.  But this is not only what happens inside the hard-core apologetics world.  I lived in that space for over twenty years and, Hi!, I am the product of Christian apologetics as a lifestyle.  A hyper-focus on apologetics becomes much more than just knowing what you believe and why - it takes on a superiority complex of oneself and faith, arrogance of knowledge, a “prove it to me” mentality while trying to “take down” those you oppose and the underlying belief that you are always under attack. 

Rebekah Joy Social Media Post (8).png

Have we forgotten that the Bible is not God? People are choosing to have a relationship with and focus all their energies on a book instead of the one that book is about. Look at the definitions at the beginning of this article again.  They say nothing about God or Jesus.  Apologetics tries to prove with impressive words and rhetoric - but what people need are actions.  Ineffectual words have spoken for Christianity long enough.

“By their fruit ye shall know them." That fruit has shown something drastically different than the apologetic arguments claiming it is good. The fruit of evangelical fundamentalism is inedible, and it has poisoned the name of Christian.

Stop talking and debating.  Church – live Christianity in it’s purest, most condensed form.  Start with yourself.


ApologeticsDebate.jpg