Moving Beyond Grace
/Faith has often been described as a journey. And what I’ve noticed is that Grace is the depot where lots of people hop off the train and then choose to stay there. But I would like to present to you an alternative trip route.
As a fellow survivor of the cult of Bill Gothard, I am so thrilled Jinger Duggar Vuolo has seen her way out and is now vocal about her journey. It takes insane courage to do what she’s doing.
But I must give a word of caution. Being a consultant and coach who walks along side those who are leaving legalistic, fundamental, abusive or coercive faiths, I’ve seen a pattern. (I even did this myself!)
Once you realize how much fear has controlled you, once you allow yourself to change a belief…you do feel FREE!
Often, people stop stepping towards even more freedom when they become grace or gospel centered. They accept a whole other set of rules, doctrines and ways of believing and just stop. And too, fundamentalistic mindsets can tag along into the new managing faith system. There is so much more available inside of Christianity - yet another layer of freedom.
As I write, I am remembering one of those amazing old train stations I’ve visited in Europe - Paris or London maybe. Beautiful, antique tiles line the walls. Movie and show posters are scattered everywhere. People scurry like ants up and down stairs, crossing over to change train lines or stopping briefly in the shop for a coffee. Each person has an exact route they must follow to arrive at their chosen destination.
Sometimes the journey of faith can seem like you are a visitor to a new country trying to figure out the underground or train system. It’s daunting. Everything is new and not in your language or developed with some secret code only locals can understand. Sometimes the maps seem to take you the opposite direction. Sometimes you realize you’re waiting for the wrong train. Or if you’re like me, you missed your train altogether!
When you finally make it to your destination of choice, you’ve probably changed trains at least twice - you nearly made a mistake, but made it to one train and then had to sprint across the station to catch the the other. “Mind the gap” is now comprehended as you almost lost your favorite shoe to it!
When you are on the spiritual journey out of legalism or a controlling religious background - grace seems like your arrival point.
Starting about twenty years ago, there was a wave of understanding in American evangelical Christian churches that grace had been overlooked and ignored. Now there is a ministry, book or church with the word grace in the title on every corner. It was a necessary revelation for the church but unfortunately, that’s where it stopped until now with thousands deconstructing their faith and running from spiritually abusive environments.
I have watched over and over again as people leave fundamentalist faiths, cast off legalism, stop judging everyone and choose to be a new kind of Christian, one who embraces grace. In fact, I’ve been there myself. An understanding of grace was pivotal to me cancelling my subscription to toxic Christianity.
Here’s the rub: Grace is easily accepted because it is a vital truth your heart knows was missing. But grace can still be legalistic when all you are doing is adhering to a new set of rules and guidelines. Grace culture might provide a comfortable, ordered construct to find healing from a fundamentalist or toxic faith, but that same grace culture can be controlling, constrictive and cultish too, like any other system that claims absolute or dogmatic truth.
Grace is not the final destination.
Grace matters and is foundational. Grace is the first step towards complete freedom after being chained to legalism. But don’t stop there - embrace a little FOMO. What lies beyond grace?
Keep learning, keep growing, keep exploring. Don’t create new barriers or belief which limit God. You will find it easy to snuggle comfortably in your cozy nest of grace without fully capturing the vastness of the space God is waiting to reveal to you. (I was tempted to add a little imagery at this point, “If God is your conductor…” But that just seemed too cliche.)
While grace might be a delightful, life-giving rest stop, at some point you will need to get back on the train. This journey of faith has an open-ended ticket.
