What’s the Deal with Faith Deconstruction?
/If you are currently in a church, Christian family or religious community, chances are you’ve heard the word “deconstruction.” The term may have been presented in a negative light to you or perhaps you don’t truly know what it means. Or, if you’ve been on social media in the last few months and follow any prominent Christian leaders, your introduction to the word may have been through a heated video clip and thread. One thing is for certain, the term “deconstruction” and all it entails is a word stirring up much controversy in American religious spaces right now.
Why are people reacting so strongly to this word and the subsequent “deconstruction culture?” It’s complicated. In this post, I will do my best to help you understand why people are reactive to deconstruction, what deconstruction really is and what you can do about it. Are you ready for lots of information?
Here are the key topics this article will discuss:
What is Faith Deconstruction?
Deconstructing the Whole Truth About Faith Traditions and Leaders
People Should Not Be Shamed For Deconstructing Their Faith
People Should Not Be Coerced To Deconstruct Their Faith
The War On Deconstruction From Faith Leaders
People Have the Right to a Safe Religious Experience
How Can You Help Your Faith Community and Those Deconstructing?
What is Faith Deconstruction?
This Deconstruction Era is a leaderless shift in American Christianity which has instigated a wave of spiritual awakening and is, in turn, ushering in a reckoning with the church as a whole. Deconstruction is not a fad, movement or sexy new thing. The word deconstruction can be quite personal and nearly as diverse as the people experiencing it.
Because people like definitions, here’s my take at at one: Deconstruction is piecing apart one’s beliefs to find what is real or true while detoxing from unhealthy mindsets and structures.
As people deconstruct, they often discover that their beliefs, value system or spiritual formation are not so solid after all. And that the version faith they had been taught was absolute truth, or the correct way, is in fact flawed. They feel as though their very foundation is cracking. Because I believe it more fully captures what many people are experiencing, I developed Spiritual Identity Disruption TM .
Deconstruction and Spiritual Identity Disruption go hand in hand. Deconstruction is the dissecting of your beliefs, worldview and culture while Spiritual Identity Disruption is the big picture of what you are experiencing emotionally, mentally and in relationships. Please see my article to further understand Spiritual Identity Disruption.
Deconstructing the Whole Truth About Faith Traditions and Leaders
Did you know that Martin Luther was anti-Semitic? From a letter he wrote, his words were translated, “For these Jews are not Jews, but devils incarnate who curse our Lord.” He even called for the burning of their homes and synagogues.
Did you know that Jonathan Edwards was a slave owner?
Did you know the King James version of the Bible, published in 1611, is named after a person? He was King James I - born Roman Catholic, raised Presbyterian and became Anglican leaning later in life. King James authorized this English translation in great part due to the his politics.
If it is the truth, no matter how many or what kind of questions you ask, it will always be the truth. Putting on rose-colored glasses will not change the truth. Omitting details might help you prove a point or maintain a theology, but it is not the whole truth. Gaslighting the truth with religious language and a Bible reference will not change the truth. People reading varied thoughts and opinions will not change the truth. People stating why they do not agree with you will not change the truth. Getting angry and slandering people who do not agree with you anymore will not change the truth. Believing something with your heart does not change the truth.
What is happening today is people are learning the truth about the roots of their faith traditions, the people in their own faith communities and leaders of their denominations. The internet has opened new doors of knowledge and discovery. We can now simply “Google” anything we want to know and a myriad of perspectives, interpretations and beliefs are at our finger tips. We can learn the complete stories of those who founded, inspired or influenced our own churches, doctrines and practices.
Those trying to gatekeep in hopes of perpetuating their theologies and version of faith are only showing their true authoritarian colors. Claiming we hold the only, absolute truth and accurate understanding of the Bible today shows great arrogance and pride, not to mention disregard and disrespect for those of past decades who were devout Christian and believed something different then is widely accepted in Western evangelical churches or by you yourself.
The pastors, teachers, apologist and leaders of the evangelical and fundamentalist communities are writhing. They are hitting back with everything they’ve got. But why? Is it simply fear, which is at the root of so many of their doctrines? Is it the sense they are losing control as people are questioning what they’re being taught? Is it money driven as church attendance is scaling back? Or is it the deep seeded need to have all the answers and be absolutely right all the time which cannot coexist with today’s spiritually maturing climate?
All people want is the truth. When they are met with resistance, manipulation, anger, defensiveness and spite, naturally they will persist because the necessary question arises, “What are they hiding?”
People are discovering a multitude of things that don’t belong under the umbrella of “Christian.” This includes:
Abuse and cover ups.
Narcissistic leadership.
Plagiarism.
Political agendas and Christian nationalism.
Hypocritical lifestyles.
Racism.
Hatred.
Control and coercion.
Toxic theology.
Sexual assault.
Ignoring domestic violence.
Financial corruption.
And much more.
Pieces of the puzzle are not adding up. What people have been told compared to what they are experiencing and seeing with their own eyes do not match. One example of the truth being presented about American Christian history, such as in Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez as well as the history of where many Christian’s beliefs about male headship and patriarchy were sourced in The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr, and these facts are creating quite the stir. These women are not trying to burn Christianity to the ground. They are speaking the historical truth about the beliefs held by American Christianity and how we got here. In fact, it is their great love of Christianity that urges them to speak the truth in hopes of healing the fractured church.
Something to remember: American Christianity is not Christianity itself.
American Christianity is our culture’s version of Christianity. This encompasses beliefs, practices, theologies and Scripture interpretation.
Christianity (the and Bible itself) did not originate in the United States. Americans do not hold claim to the faith. Christians must view Christianity through a global lens, and that includes cultural differences, histories and understandings. The Bible read through an African, Asian, South American or European culture lens comes with a varied perspective. American seminaries and pulpits do not hold the only correct interpretations of the Bible. Listen to what other cultures believe and teach about the Bible. Read historical accounts of faith other then from your own practice and culture.
People Should Not Be Shamed For Deconstructing Their Faith
One of the rally cries from those who oppose faith deconstruction is that the helpers or leaders in the deconstruction space are not pushing people to go the the Bible to get their answers or remain a Christian. The answer to this is really not as menacing as you think.
For people recovering from abusive, toxic or controlling religious environments, the Bible was used to hurt them. What the Bible said and meant was twisted and caused great harm in their lives, souls and minds. The people wielding the tangled Scriptural meanings also hurt them - sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. The Bible, a church building, religious symbols or people - these things become harmful triggers which signify pain. Encouraging, or insisting, someone use the very thing which has abused and scarred them in order to heal is insensitive, ignorant, abusive and will only re-traumatize. In time, when a person has healed, they may be able to - see the Bible, a church building, religious symbols or people - in a new light, “go there” again, consider religious ideas without being triggered or not have an anxiety attack at the mere thought.
An example of this is from the Netflix show, “The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window.”
(Spoiler alert!)
Anna has been hurt, extremely hurt. She not only lost her young daughter in a brutal murder, but her marriage ended as well. She is on a cocktail of medications which, she mixes with alcohol. She thinks she’s losing her mind sometimes. She’s a good person who has experienced unfathomable pain. Because the last time she saw her daughter alive she was standing in the rain, Anna can no longer be in the rain, or feel any rain drops touch her, without having a panic attack and collapsing.
No one forces Anna to stand in the rain until she gets better. No one tells her the rain is her really her friend and where she will find healing. No one makes her think she’s wrong for not standing in the rain until she passes out.
But what happens at the end of the show when she has reached a level of healing, when her mind, body and soul are at a place of rest? She stands in the rain and discovers joy again. No panic. No collapsing. No struggle. But this time, a good memory is made which will replace the former, painful trigger.
Someone saying, “I’ve left my toxic church,” does not automatically mean they are leaving Christianity, only wanting to sin or lead a sexually deviant life. It probably means they’ve experienced an unhealthy group of people and are wanting to find a safe community. From my experience, the majority of people deconstructing their beliefs want to stay Christian - but cannot justify staying in the same harmful version handed down to them. Now comes the hard, scary work of relearning, researching, changing your mind, being vulnerable and uncertain and embracing freedom. (Oh and that research includes reading books like…the Bible.)
Even if you have the best intensions, telling someone, “That’s not God, humans hurt you. Don’t run away from Jesus just because you got hurt,” or “Go ahead and deconstruct your faith, but do it in a faithful manner with the intent of returning to church,” really does more harm than good. There is no set “right way” to deconstruct just like there is no one right way to recover from abuse and trauma.
Listening to other’s stories is supportive and aids individuals in knowing they are not alone. While common patterns are being detected and similarities observed, deconstruction should not become a formula or systemized because:
Each person’s story is unique and multi-faceted.
Each person’s trauma is unique.
Each person’s abuse is unique.
Each person’s background is unique.
You cannot rush healing.
A new system or method is exactly what they are deconstructing from - structures which tell you what to do and what not to do.
You are not God.
When you tell someone what their faith or faith formation should look like, you are perpetuating spiritual abuse.
Deconstruction is not the same as deconversion.
While yes, sometimes people do choose to leave Christianity after experiencing a deconstruction, that is their choice. They have the freedom to make that choice.
Consider too, what a person who chooses to step into a faith deconstruction may face losing, and then think again if this is just a trendy, cool thing people want to do. A deconstructionist might lose or grieve the loss of:
Their community.
Relationships they cherish.
Childhood memories.
Their job/financial stability.
What they thought their life would be.
Their life-long faith.
Use of their college degree/education.
and more.
People Should Not Be Coerced To Deconstruct Their Faith
Deconstruction should happen organically, or else, it’s not deconstruction. If you lead someone into deconstruction by asking them to join your group, or pressing your viewpoints with the intention of getting them to question their beliefs and believe like you do now, you are reverse-evangelizing. Great harm can be done to unsuspecting people who get recruited into this space when the pull into deconstruction was not based on their lived experiences and personal evolving faith.
Sharing how and why you are changing your beliefs, or what you believe now isn’t recruitment, it’s honesty and vulnerability. Telling people they need to leave their current faith or tradition and join in deconstructing or believe like you do now, that is proselytizing.
The War On Deconstruction From Faith Leaders
Each time I hear yet another fundamental, evangelical or protestant Christian voice railing against faith deconstruction, it’s inevitable that if you listen to them long enough, you will find some of these elements in connection:
Someone is losing control of their realm of influence.
Gaslighting or shaming techniques to manipulate is being used.
They are not trauma or abuse informed, and in fact may have a history of covering up abuse or ignoring trauma.
They have deep insecurity in their beliefs or selves thus everyone else is a demonic heretic.
They have a narcissistic personality.
They claim to have absolute Biblical truth, the right viewpoints or interpretation of Scripture.
They have never sat down with those who are experiencing deconstruction to listen, hear their hearts and learn.
They are creating an us vs. them platform.
Fear is at the root of their argument.
(For a deeper dive, check out some of these suggested book resources.)
When you study history, you will find spiritual awakenings and revivals, religious crusades and revolts. All of these past events have been people deconstructing what the religious leaders and teachings of the day said were true about the Bible or faith. In turn, those teachings controlled the people or dictated what their lives should look like and what power was held by the church and it’s leaders. Every era has had a power shift, reevaluation and change in religious, moral and political ideals and structures. The Deconstruction Era is this generation’s place in history. We build on and learn from the experiences and lessons of the past. May the church and spiritual guides also pause long enough to humbly learn, listen and grow instead of digging in their heels to maintain power and what they deem as Biblical correctness.
People Have the Right to a Safe Religious Experience
Whether in a church, Bible study, online support group, private counseling or faith community, people have the right to have a safe religious experience.
Safe doesn’t mean that:
You will never be wrong.
You will never change your belief.
You cannot listen and learn from a teacher/pastor.
You cannot belong to a denomination or faith tradition.
There are no morals or ethics.
You will never disagree with people.
Safe does mean:
Those in leadership are not there to maintain their own power or the power of the church.
Abuse of any kind is never tolerated.
You can express a belief or opinion that is different from the group and you are not humiliated, shunned or rejected.
When conflict arises it is handled respectfully and without prejudice.
There is diversity of thought, perspectives, ideas and people.
Systems are already in place to protect victims.
Everyone has a voice.
You are free to leave.
You are not guilted or pressured to volunteer your time or talents.
Giving money to the community isn’t taught as necessary evidence your faith.
You are not manipulated to make or sign any form of commitment or agreement.
How Can You Help Your Faith Community and Those Deconstructing?
First off, if you’ve made it this far in the article, thank you! Here are some additional ways you can begin to support those in your faith community and individuals you know who are experiencing a faith deconstruction:
Become trauma informed.
Understand the signs and statistics of abuse and domestic violence.
Learn to ask good questions.
Practice listening to hear, not listening to respond.
Take a class online or attending a session on a topic which makes you uncomfortable such as racism, sexual abuse or religious trauma.
Put the person over the principle. See a person’s humanity before all the things you don’t like or agree with.
When you hear someone talking negatively about faith deconstruction, refer them to places they can learn a different perspective.
Examine your own hidden beliefs which cause you to critique and judge others.
Recognize that a healthy relationship includes shared power, it is an equal relationship. Are your own church/faith community relationships healthy?
If you still consider yourself an evangelical Christian, then according to a traditional belief you may hold, your preeminent job as a Christian is tell or preach the Gospel. That doesn’t mean guilt, belittle, ignore, snub or hassle those who do not believe like you do. You cannot make (or force) someone to become, or stay, a Christian. In line with orthodox and widely accepted teachings, the Holy Spirit is the one who works on a person’s heart, wooing or calling them to Jesus. My friend, you are not the Holy Spirit.
Telling a person who has made the decision to leave Christianity they “weren’t a Christian to begin with, “ or “you are disappointed in them,” or even “I’ll be praying God softens your heart and you come back to Christ, “ is controlling, abusive and flat out wrong. People have the freedom to make choices for themselves, this includes if they choose to identify as Christian or not.
It is not your job to make sure someone stays a Christian or is hounded, miserable or shamed if they make the decision to leave the faith. Your job should be to live out what you believe, not force someone else to believe and live like you do. Otherwise, it is not evangelizing, it’s coercion, manipulation coupled with gaslighting and spiritual bypassing:
“You misunderstood!”
“Not all Christians are like that.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll go to Hell"?”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“You can deconstruct, but make sure you do it the right way.”
“Jesus never hurt you.”
“I love you, that’s why I’m not just letting you get away with this.”
“People are human and humans are flawed.”
I am not telling you that you must change your theology. I am not suggesting that you should stop believing Jesus is the only Way, Truth and Life. I am not asking you to stop sharing your faith. I am asking you to consider why you believe you must insist someone become a Christian without also acknowledging their freedom of choice? I am asking you to reevaluate your tactics when it comes to showing dignity to the lives of those who are not professing Christians. This also applies to the tenacious need of openly rebuking or chastising those who identity as Christian but who have changed their beliefs, or believe a thing you do not.
If you truly cared for the souls of people, you would show love, humility and respect. You can disagree with someone’s choices and beliefs without causing emotional, mental or spiritual harm. Is being right dearer to you than loving your neighbor?
