Unmasking the Hidden Connections: Religious Trauma, Narcicissim and Christian Nationalism

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Unmasking the Hidden Connections: Religious Trauma, Narcicissim and Christian Nationalism

Religious Trauma is a psychological term used to describe the result of a variety of negative experiences related to religion. It can encompass a range of experiences from spiritual abuse, physical or emotional trauma caused by religious practices or beliefs, or even simply the feeling of betrayal when a person’s religious community or leaders fail to live up to the high standards and holy lifestyle proported to be exlemplified and taught by those in leadership. Coerced conversions, unquestioning submission to authority, trauma-based theologies and hidden abuse also contribute to creating religious trauma.

One of the key issues related to religious trauma is the role that narcissism can play in the religious community.

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When Love Becomes a Weapon: The Hidden Hurt in Christian Homes

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When Love Becomes a Weapon: The Hidden Hurt in Christian Homes

Hey there, friend. Can we talk about something that's been weighing on my heart lately? It's about how love sometimes gets twisted in Christian homes, turning into a tool for control instead of the beautiful, unconditional thing it's meant to be.

You know that feeling when you're a kid, and your mom promises you can go to your best friend's house on Saturday? You're so excited, counting down the days. But then Saturday morning rolls around, and you forget to clean your room on Friday. Suddenly, that play date you've been looking forward to all week? It's gone. Poof. Just like that. "If you can't be responsible at home," they said, "you don't get to go out and have fun."

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The Church's Co-opting of Survivor Experience

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The Church's Co-opting of Survivor Experience

The church is often seen as a sanctuary, a place of healing and support for those who seek spiritual guidance and community. However, a pattern and uncomfortable truth I have observed is that not only has the church become a place where great harm is done or covered up, the church is sometimes guilty of co-opting survivor language and experiences - the very survivors they created or silenced then again use or exploit.

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Shiny Happy People - A survivor's hot take on Episode 3.

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Shiny Happy People - A survivor's hot take on Episode 3.

Watching Shiny Happy People is observing the first half of my life in what feels like an out of body experience. Internal agony and struggle, mind shifts and identity disruption, loss of people I love, fear and confusion, new experiences and blazing ahead alone, these things have defined my years since becoming aware I had been raised in a cult. It’s what it took for me to leave, learn a new way and forge a life outside the lines of authoritarian control and spiritual abuse.

The Duggar family has long been who I reference when I tell people that I grew up differently from mainstream culture. Dang, even differently from most evangelical culture. “Have you seen the show 19 Kids and Counting? Yes? Well, that’s my background.” It was extreme fundamentalism; we were the radicals.

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Shiny Happy People - A survivor's hot take on Episode 2.

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Shiny Happy People - A survivor's hot take on Episode 2.

I wasn’t the only IBLP survivor who had a migraine yesterday. Yes, my migraine is toned way down now, thanks for asking. I took a walk, snagged a couple short cat-naps, did more gentle yoga movements and mental reminders that I am safe now which all seemed to help.

Shiny Happy People is collectively pacing so many of us through our painful childhoods which were riddled with spiritual abuse, physical and psychological abuse and religious trauma. Please, do not allow yourself to be re-traumatized. Turn off the TV, decide you will not finish the series, or wait until you can talk to a therapist. There is great strength in knowing your limitations and choosing to protect your emotional and mental health. It’s not a weakness.

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Signs of Spiritual Abuse in Children and Families

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Signs of Spiritual Abuse in Children and Families

Spiritual abuse has long been veiled as Christian parenting. People just buy into the system hook, line and sinker. While it’s true spiritual abuse can have some physical features, it’s generally more subtle. Spiritual abuse first affects a person’s mind, moves into their core beliefs, and then informs their actions. Spiritual abuse intersects with psychological and emotional abuse in this way because spiritual abuse impacts mind, body and soul.

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Spiritual Abuse And Seven Other Terms Defined

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Spiritual Abuse And Seven Other Terms Defined

First off, spiritual abuse, religious trauma and other terms found in this article are not a new thing. Abuse within religious organizations, churches and leadership has been around as long as there has been organized religion…or people for that matter.

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I was a Christian Fundamentalist Mom

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I was a Christian Fundamentalist Mom

When my parenting journey began, I was a Christian fundamentalist parent. I didn’t know any better, it was all I had ever known.

I was young and had waited my whole (brief) life to be a mom. Motherhood had been put on a pedestal and was the highest calling a woman could fulfill. It was what all Godly women do, they are fruitful and multiply being blessed with a quiver full of children who will arise and call them blessed. But becoming a mother is also what toppled me into questioning my faith and the religious formula and methods in which I, myself, had been raised.

With the waves of individuals deconstructing their faith, we tend to focus on the person experiencing the belief deconstruction but forget that behind that person are the parents and systems who raised them.

Here’s a little secret: Parents can deconstruct their beliefs too. I know, because I did.

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Does "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" Apply to Abuse?

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Does "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" Apply to Abuse?

As a coach who interacts with individuals recovering from strict, fundamentalist Christian or religious backgrounds, this is a concern I often hear. “But what about honoring my parents? Is that still something I owe them after what they did?”

This belief is often based on the Biblical Ten Commandments, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” The story of how these commandments came to be is found in the Old Testament. They were given to Moses and written in stone by the hand of God himself. This same idea is also found in the New Testament in Ephesians 6:1-4.

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