Growing Up Fundy: An analysis of being raised in Christian fundamentalism.

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Growing Up Fundy: An analysis of being raised in Christian fundamentalism.

Evangelical fundamentalism was founded to counter-act the women’s rights movements, especially women working outside the home, and modern theory in a post-World War I world. The movement was at it’s peak during the 1950-1980’s. Sub-denominations were even formed during this time, claiming further truth and belief in Biblical fundamentals – such as the denomination of my childhood, Independent Fundamental Baptist.

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Canceling Grandma: The Christian Cancel Culture

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Canceling Grandma: The Christian Cancel Culture

Cancel Culture is not new. Christians have been actively practicing it for decades. I am speaking from a lifetime of experience from within the fundamental evangelical Christian realm.

The closest thing I can find in Scripture is from Matthew 5:29, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”

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Parenting: It can be different. You know better.

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Parenting: It can be different. You know better.

As someone who is living a life differently than how they were raised, someone who has fought hard to find truth and battled through the agony of deconstruction – little things can become big things when you least expect it.

As you may know, I am a homeschool mom. This often feels like a love/hate situation because you see, I was homeschooled. Triggers, known pitfalls, lack of actual schooling, strained family relationships – I want to avoid those things. I have seen far too much of that

There, however, is much good that comes from home educating your children too – unlimited family adventures, an individualized education, learning new things together, freedom to explore personal learning styles and interests, studying about then traveling the world - I am embracing those amazing things.

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Being A Mom Matters

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Being A Mom Matters

As a mother myself, I feel a heaviness around what is taking place in our society. The division between races, cultures, families, friends, churches, businesses, law enforcement, nations – the division is just that, it’s divisive. The future is being formed right now. This is my child’s world – the world where my grandbabies will be raised. This is our place in history – what happens now matters.

As someone who was raised in a Christian legalistic, fundamentalist environment, starting controversial conversations doesn’t come naturally.

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3 Stages of Deconstruction

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3 Stages of Deconstruction

Deconstruction is a personalized piecing apart of one’s belief system. This may include political and religious views, gender roles, race and identity.

There is no set amount of time – each person deconstructs at their own pace. Often, a painful or dramatic event can initiate the deconstruction process.

A complete deconstruction can involve what feels to be a total erasing of what a person thought was normal – how you interact with people, raise your kids, behave, treat your spouse, believe about your faith, view the world at large and yes, even basic daily practices such as taking a class, getting dressed, eating meals, going to the store or social gatherings.

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Netflix's Unorthodox - Thoughts From A Religious Cult Survivor

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Netflix's Unorthodox - Thoughts From A Religious Cult Survivor

During COVID-19 and social distancing I've been trying not to watch too many shows or stay glued to social media and my phone. But - then Netflix released Unorthodox.

I succumbed. I binged. They got me. As a religious cult survivor myself, here are a few of my thoughts after I watched Unorthodox:

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Ask God the Hard Questions

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Ask God the Hard Questions

Have you ever been afraid to ask God the questions in your heart? Do you feel guilty for questioning some things (or everything) you’ve ever believed about God? Is there shame covering you because doubts are flooding your mind?

In my experience, the conservative Christian church has been afraid of allowing people to ask questions. This has left an entire generation of people who have either left the church or are hanging on confused and not truly knowing what they believe.

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Surgery, rest and stopping.

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Surgery, rest and stopping.

My doctor said many women have this procedure done on Friday and return to work on Tuesday.  After all it’s “just” laparoscopic.

Thinking positively I figured to myself, “Worst case, I’m functioning 100% within a week.”  So, in I went on a Friday for surgery, fully expecting to be like those other women.

The Tuesday after surgery rolled around and I was flat on my back, helpless and in pain.  Without assistance, I was incapable of getting in or out of bed.  Showering or using the toilet still required help from my husband.

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Church Hurts

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Church Hurts

Going to church can hurt.  Like really hurt.  As in it can bring on a panic attack or tears and emotional soul wrenching. 

The weight of years of partial truth on your shoulders pulls down in full force.  There are triggers starting in the parking lot.  Just making it inside the church building takes outrageous courage. You want to believe.  You want to be there.  The foyer starts to spin.  Your heart beats faster and faster.  People around you become a blur.  The feeling to run overwhelms. The music and program format are all too familiar. You remember the past. It feels as though someone is slowly wrapping your body in plastic wrap. Before long, your whole body is tight and you can’t hear anything but the pounding inside your head and you finally give in to the desire to escape before your whole being explodes.   

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Brokenness

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Brokenness

After years of counseling, changing beliefs and thought patterns and seeking God's truth, the realization happened again, "I am broken.  My family is broken.  Will it ever end?  I need help."  My husband and I had just had a fight and my emotions were raw.  Pain from the past and fear for the future was filling my heart.  But then I heard, "We are all broken," inside my head, and the freedom of knowing this was a human condition, not merely a Rebekah condition calmed me.  "I will always need help.  No one can ever be perfect.  That's why there's Jesus."

Brokenness is another Christian buzz word.  Unfortunately, it's a word that has been used to control people and make us continue working to achieve God's approval.    

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